17 Nov This Is How You Redefine Perfection
For many years, I’ve fought to be perfect. I wanted my gold star, the accolades, the praise, and all of the acknowledgments that came with the pursuit of perfection.
For many years, I judged myself on how perfectly I fit into society’s box labeled “Successful People”. I dreamed big. I took on big projects and I over committed myself to ideas that I thought would give me the clout I desired.
I even gave myself the name PattyDrive on social media because I believed that in order to be the best you must be driven. And I was driven to be perfect in the eyes of many. My drive for perfection, I thought, was unparalleled and I wanted everyone to know.
For many years, I thought this was the best version of myself.
I’d convinced myself that I needed to look like the vixens and models that I saw on Instagram – curvy in all the right places yet athletic and defined. I convinced myself that my hair needed to be “exotic looking” – either straightened to perfection to hide my curly edges or cut into a funky style to hide the fact that my hair had not been flowing down my back since my childhood. Sometimes that meant adding extensions just to cover up the fact that my hair wasn’t deemed perfect in my eyes.
Like a hungry lion on a quest, I was on the prowl to be everything people told me perfect was.
I wanted the CEO title, the toned brickhouse body, the 3A/3B curly hair, the top-notch salary with all of the luxuries to match, and the opportunity to invest in local businesses just to sign my name on the dotted line to say “Yup, I did that”.
I wanted to be everything to everyone.
To me that was perfect.
It came with recognition, awards, and the opportunity to say “hey look at me… I’m a dream.”
And slowly that became nothing but a mere dream in the night for me.
I don’t know when it happened, but somewhere along the lines I decided that the CEO title, the toned brickhouse body, the 3A/3B curly hair, the top-notch salary with all of the luxuries to match, and the opportunity to invest in local businesses just to sign my name on the dotted line to say “Yup, I did that” was no longer perfect.
I let go of the idea of being everything to everyone and somehow I found myself only wanting to be everything to me and that meant allowing myself to discover the best me. It meant discovering who I was and what I stood for. It meant letting go of the want for recognition. It meant that I would no longer look for outside sources to validate who I am as a person. “Perfection” slowly became learning to embrace imperfection. The things that I thought were flawed I no longer wanted to change. They were a part of me. My edges are curly and curly they shall be. My hair is a combined mix of type 4 textures and it is beautiful as it is. As for my body, it isn’t Instagram model “stacked” but it’s just curvy enough for me.
I found that the best version of myself allowed me to lead with heart discovering myself along the way. It allowed me to accept my evolving self without trying to fit into a formula or a neat little box of titles. I didn’t need to be CEO to be perfect, I am perfect by design.
Today, my idea of perfect is just that… my perfect.
My perfect is flexible and ever-changing, graceful, creative, and filled with love and gratitude. It is finding the things that truly matter to me and leading every day with them. It’s a slow and simple perfect that moves with the wind- finding time to embrace moments and live in purpose. This perfect does not need recognition or merit. It gives freely without the need for accolades in return.
And while I haven’t arrived at the place I want to be, I am perfectly fine with embracing the journey and allowing myself a lifetime of being perfectly imperfect.
Want to find your perfect?
Embrace yourself (flaws and all).
Work toward being your best self every day.
Focus on your strengths.
Determine your values and lead with them.
Make time to learn yourself. Listen to yourself.
Think about your life. If money wasn’t an issue, who would you be? What would your life be like? Find ways to live that dream every day.
Give yourself room for growth.